I have work review with my RO tomorrow. It’s something we do thrice a year. In the beginning of the year to share your plans, in the middle of the year to share your progress and at the end of the year to share your success and AFIs.
I wanted to prepare for it so I brought my work laptop home. I was going to look at my work review form but instead I went online to the HR site. Read up more on the types of leave available. Specifically, I was looking at NPL for next year. Then I went on to download the resignation form.
I wrote my resignation letter about a month ago actually. I never sent it because I thought things got better. Indeed, things did get better. Work got better. But I didn’t.
Every thing I do now, is an act.
Every word I say now, is a lie.
Every smile I show now, is a mask.
I am not okay. I never was. And I truly understand myself now and what I must do. I lost myself this year. And I need to find myself again. There is a calm in me. And I am at peace with my thoughts. But my soul is somewhere else.
I can’t remember if I have told you this before but to me, being a teacher was more than just a job. I always felt that it was my calling. It was what I knew how to do, and did it best. And children are my pride and joy. My objective in life was to change the world. Help change it one child at a time. Just like the “Starfish Story”. I want to make a difference in people’s lives.
If you think me quitting the service means that I am giving up as a teacher, that’s where you’re wrong. I intend to continue with my objective in life. I’m just leaving and trying to achieve my objective through a different place, pace and structure.
I still want to teach the world to save itself. One child at a time.